Monday, July 28, 2014

Letting Go of Crutches








It's funny how when you think you can't do or become something without the help of someone or something until it's gone. I was watching the movie Gravity yesterday and I was kinda in awe of how parallel the story of the main character related to situations I had gone through.

A little over a year ago I had a family member experience a life altering stroke.  It's taken a lot of adjusting and patience to understand why or how this happened but it's had somewhat of a domino effect on the relationships I've had with family members I'm supper close to.   I never realized how much I relied on them for support until this experience happened.  Now I find myself making decisions that I normally would consult with them on, on my own.  I know its not a big deal to some but, damn.. when you become use-to or comfortable to a certain way of life and it's changed for good, it can be somewhat of a shock to the system.  I've always been a independent person but having the ones that love you for who you are be somewhat taken away can hurt too especially when your use to talking about your personal issues to them or just want a shoulder to lean on.

But you know what , there is a bright side to all of this though.  When your crutches are taken away you have no choice but to stand up tall and "walk"!  It's not just relationships with family that can be crutches but numerous matters of the heart like relationships, friendships, or sometimes our jobs or careers.  I've seen all the above change in a blink of an eye and even though I was scared as hell, I had no choice but to let go of my security blanket, do some major growing and use my own two feet to see me through.

I still find myself wanting to call out for help sometimes but it's just in a different way.  It's from a distance and from a space that I'm in control of.  Once I did this I started to see the illusion of feeling the overwhelming need to "have" to be supported by someone else whether mentally or physically lessen and growth occurred. Like I said before, it's not easy but you have to trust yourself and step out on faith even when it looks like no one is around to see you soar.

Tuxedo Shirt/ French Connection, trouser pants/ Zara, suspenders Top shop, frames Aldo, Shoes/Aldo, photo creed: Alfred Collar      

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